I love birthday Month. One month in the year where I focus on me, and allow myself to be treated to … whatever I like. This month also marked my third anniversary, so it really was a celebratory month.
But other than buying … stuff, birthday month is reflective. Reflective of self, love, career, family and friends. It feels good to review and set new goals or re-adjust the old.
I am grateful for the birthday dinners, gifts from friends, beautiful cake all the way from Cape Town and being spoilt with messages from friends both near and far.
Since my actual birthday was in the middle of the week, a pre-birthday celebration and post-celebration was called for. Dinner at Dukes, cake and singing. Dinner at Jimmy’s. cake and singing. My actual birthday dinner was romantic and beautifully set at Pigalle in Melrose Arch. I really felt loved and spoilt.
So thank you to all for making my birthday month so special.
Oh …. oh …. oh how I love, no adore, no …. cherish my birthday month. I love the month of May, I love how it makes me feel and I love that I give myself permission to spoil myself. So turn away if you’re squeemish to all that is birthday love … :).
It all started when I checked Facebook and saw this message “Miss you too beautiful one :) u ok? Just heard the news,really sorry :( xx”
I immediately called my mom, who then gave the news of my grandmother being ill, organ failure and the like (details are too graphic, I can’t share just yet).
The love of my life Kevin, bought (as a birthday gift), tickets to Coldplay in Cape Town and I had planned on going on Wednesday 5 October – red eye flight, but due to the latest news, started contemplating changing my flight. My mom, who would never admit to wanting me there earlier, initially said – see you Wednesday, but thankfully I called her again and she actually asked me to come. My mom never does that.
So there I was, spending 30 mins on the line changing my flight, booking new accommodation and a car to get there sooner. This week has been crazy. The idea of working from there was soon scrapped due to my disabled aunt (who has Usher’s Syndrome) needing to speak to me – which involved her having my face in front of hers, at all times.
My grandmother, more like the mother figure, has been the one, who when my father, sister and family disowned me, always maintained her beliefs of “doing what makes you happy” and “accepting me as I am”, irrespective.
And today, after days of being in and out of consciousness, told me “I happy you are here”.
All the while I am there, I have to be strong for my mother, who has been taking care of her mother as she lives with them. My role? Feed them, grocery shop, and listen. Thankfully I have my own place to retreat to since my aunt from London and other aunt (and grandmother) stays with my mom. A haven is needed when one needs to be strong.
My grandmother is 86 years old. Next month is her birthday. Will she make it, I doubt it. All I know is that this sudden realisation that everyone dies makes me question the “important” things in life. Have you called your mom/dad lately? I haven’t spoken to mine in a decade. His choice. But my mom and gran are still around and although we never had a close relationship before, me being here this week has brought me closer to them. I cannot bear the bad news on the way but I know that my gran and I are tight.
Love you Ma Brenda. You will always be my hero. Be strong.
It’s been an insane week, then again the past month has flown by in an instant. Today however, the love of my life returns after a two-week stint in the USA. Now two weeks is not a long time, however the time difference made it challenging to have a decent conversation since either I was about to hit the sack or go to work when he called or vice versa. But …. it has shown me the following:
long distance, she is not for me ….
glad to not be single
I too … can pine ….. blagh there I said it!
Okay enough sappiness, time to get into Sunday ….. catch up with social media and then……. ADMIN (runs away screaming …).
(Comes back to complete the blog post …. you know what “she” is like!)
Time for some coffee and breakfast, lets get this day started right …….. whooohooo!! Oh wait, look, its a penny ;).
Informative infographics are popping up all over the place. This one especially caught my eye since it the differences between a MAC and a PC user. The study conducted by hunch.com researched a sample size of 700 000 and catgorised their findings into the infographic below. It covers:
fashion and taste
food and drinks and more
Take a look and see if any of these apply to you. Ultimately, are you a MAC or PC person?
(Caveat: I can only speak from heterosexual relationship experience, I am also generalising based on the feedback I’ve had from my lady and male friends.)
So I am always thinking, isn’t everyone!?! But I do more than think about things. I analyse the way things are because of what was and what will be. I analyse the impact of cultural, socia-economic influences and religion on relationships, and as I was chatting to yet another girlfriend, the following was revealed as if a halo of light was shining from it. What is that?
“No matter how new-age your man is, no matter how liberal your woman is, men and women will always (without fail) in any and all relationships, argue about the same things.”
We will always fight, in whatever relationship we have, over the same thing every single couple fights over.
Work faster and do things without being asked.
Remember little things such as reminding you of something non really important or your favorite treat.
Grow our hair for you and spend hours grooming ourselves even though we don’t want to.
Tirelessly do and do and do for others without expectation or request, and compromise more often than not.
However, every now and again, the smallest thing will cause an explosion that even Hiroshima would have seems insignificant against.
A man will buy a dishwasher and think it solves the problem.
Do what he wants to do, most of the time and compromise very infrequently.
Listen to his mates after you’ve told him the same thing a week ago.
NEVER fill the petrol tank when its almost empty, waits until it says “go to the garage”.
Never ask for directions.
Go into function-mode when he should be supporting us emotionally and always without fail retreat to his cave, which may take the form of gym, sport, musical instruments or even work.
One thing than remains true is that a man, no matter what, will emerge from his cave and expect you to be ready to pick it all up.
HOW COULD RELATIONSHIPS LAST FOR 20-30-40-50 YEARS IN THE PAST?
Looking back I see that the traditional gender role of a woman having four or more kids, and “knowing” her role of care-giver, mother and feeder, kept her quite busy. The man was out “gathering” working physically hard to provide for his family. He never overstepped his boundary and neither did she.
(They spent very little time together and occupying “mixed” spaces.)
The problems developed when roles started reversing. The man may now stay home and take care of the children and the woman goes to work, suited up, and when she gets home, still (sometimes unconsciously expected) to complete her “motherly” duties.
She is of course exhausted at this stage, but her guilt of being away from her children and home overcomes her and she does what she can, although physically drained.
In the past, men and women occupied different spaces, lead different lives and filled different roles. I am by no means stating that we should revert back to “ancient” times. What I am saying is that I (as a woman) am always trying to get my partner (male) to see my point of view when genetically, we are wired differently and is really hard to do. The same applies when a man uses the word “rational” and “irrational”.
<Women scream, men roll your eyes ;)>
Why do you think women are always talking to each other about the same s**t?
I am not with resolution at this stage. All I know is that if you are in a relationship that is not working and you’re spotting a pattern, remember that breaking up with your partner is not the answer if the same thing has happened before.
So what to do?
Men, provide emotional support sometimes, especially when it seems to you that we are going MAD!
Women, let him go to his cave (and yes, let go of his leg while he tries to go there) he will be back ;).
Couples, realise that screaming and shouting is okay every once in a while, but there is no one point of view. Our brains are wired differently and therefore we have different points of view. What we can do is be aware of the differences and try to learn from them. One thing is for sure, no man can “change” a woman and no woman can “change” a man.
So in March to got to visit Cape Town for two weddings on the same day on opposite sides of Cape Town. Anyone who knows me knows I am not a fan of weddings, but for very close, amazing, dear friends getting married on the same day, I made the exception.
I attended the ceremony at Croyden Olive Estate in Stellenbosch first, then motored through to Fernwood Estate in Newlands for the second one.
Congratulations to Jerushah and Michael and Melanie and Steven. You looked sensational, happy and both experiences were special.
As the new year enters, I am filled with hope for 2011 and memories of 2010. Today I met up with one of my longest standing friends (for “brunch”) and we reminisced about many things.
Making the top of the list was the World Cup 2010. The memories of the many games we watched and the atmosphere made me hopeful and excited simultaneously.
I know it may sound like a cheesy line from a 60’s comedy, but remembering the positive times really does help when facing new phases or challenges.
To remember that when I went through the many “challenges” of 2010, however big or small, I am still here and stronger for it, makes me hopeful for 2011.
It really was a spectacular year, I definitely felt it, and will have the fondest of memories. Now, as I look toward 2011, I realise the some most important lessons of 2010, which are:
“no matter how I try and control everything, I cannot”
“no matter how perfect I try and do something, getting something out sooner than perfect is better (sometimes)”
“(sometimes) walking away from something is better than knocking my head a billions times”
This year, my wish is for me to be more giving, more me, more energetic, more confident, more firm, more love and obviously, happier.
How am I starting the new year, by handing over the keys to my apartment, packing up everything I own and moving to Joburg. A new phase truly begins and although the nerves I feel send signals of panic into the atmosphere, my excitement far outweighs this as I know that what is about to happen, will be spectacular.
Welcome 2011. Welcome to your new journey, it begins now. ((❀◕‿.◕))✰♥
It’s always a challenge remembering everything that happens in a day, let alone a year, but here goes.
My 2010 in review, starting with:
Spent some time between Greyton and Cape Town this year. And although I complained mostly when having to drive up and down, I confess that the drive out of Cape Town was always calming. Next, my second year in my Century City apartment came to an end and although a sadness when handing over the keys was present, a more excited me walked out into the sunset.
Celebrating my 32nd birthday with some amazing people at the Alba Lounge was lots of fun, slightly more grown up, wait, who am I kidding :).
A surprise invitation to a BALL and State Dinner in Washington DC was made possible by a sponsorship thanks to the Meridian Institute and as a result, I now have a 10 year Visa to the USA. Awesome! Although I nearly spent 2 days on Heathrow Airport because of my silliness, it was still an amazing experience. Starbucks and Waggamamma was consumed and it was …
LENGEN wait for it …. DARY!
There were many highlights on this trip, but two of the main ones were staying at the same hotel as former president Jimmy Carter and hearing Hilary Clinton give an opening address at the Department of State in Washington DC.
(Disappointment of the trip was not being able to get my Visa in time to visit my cousins in London. Sorry girls, this year for sure!)
iPod Nano (self)
Digital Camera (birthday gift)
I am more accustomed to being around animals now, 3 cats and a dog. Never having owned an animal before, having so many “beings” around was a complete change for me. But, they are lovable and its been such a lovely experience being around them (except for when one of the kitties nearly pooped in my face! UNCOOL, very UNCOOL!)
Getting to know your partners family is daunting. Being of different social, racial, cultural and religious backgrounds, makes for a soapie waiting to happen. Thankfully, my partner has a very supportive family and my mom and friends love my partner too. It has been a special experience getting to know them.
I have many close, amazing, supportive friends. You know who you are. Thank you for your incredible friendship, support, encouragement, love, help and comfort.
I am loved and I love. You know who you are, thank you for being the most remarkable man and for surprising me with your extraordinary ways. Thank you for cooking and being considerate of my vegetarianism and for always making me laugh. You’re so cool ♥.
My passion forEntrepreneurship grows daily.
My passion for writing has been fueled my the social media projects worked on in 2010.
My passion for technology is certain.
My passion for love is definite.
My passion for children (as in Toy Drives, education, uplifting) is on going.
My passion for life never ends.
My passion for photography is growing (especially food pics)
Interview on SAFM
Speech at UCT on Social Media
Speech for womens day in Strand
Working on Infointeg, product development and go live in September 2010
Started a new business to support me while getting Infointeg ready
World Cup, privileged enough to watch 2 LIVE games and do the fan walk. How fun it was!
Gautrain …. awesome experience
First time playing BINGO at the Casino with BFF and BF :)
30 Seconds to Mars concert, tickets (we love tickets) compliments of the bf, thank you, you rock the party!
Guitarist concert in Kalkbay – Tony Cox and Antonio (Awesome Guitar man)
Lunch at Jordan Wine Estate with international Keynote speaker Daniel Eisenberg
Seeing Kevin Derman perform at the Baxter Theater and having him sing 3 songs he wrote at the Toy Drive 2010
that’s it for now, I may update at a later stage
2010 was a big year in terms of work and work challenges. But it has prepared me for 2011, this I am confident about. So, as I bid farewell to the year that has put SA in a positive light and welcome a new, I take deep breathes in anticipation of what is about to begin.
I look forward to the next phase, the journey, the experiences, the friendships and the fun. Happy new beginnings to all.