It all started when I checked Facebook and saw this message “Miss you too beautiful one :) u ok? Just heard the news,really sorry :( xx”
I immediately called my mom, who then gave the news of my grandmother being ill, organ failure and the like (details are too graphic, I can’t share just yet).
The love of my life Kevin, bought (as a birthday gift), tickets to Coldplay in Cape Town and I had planned on going on Wednesday 5 October – red eye flight, but due to the latest news, started contemplating changing my flight. My mom, who would never admit to wanting me there earlier, initially said – see you Wednesday, but thankfully I called her again and she actually asked me to come. My mom never does that.
So there I was, spending 30 mins on the line changing my flight, booking new accommodation and a car to get there sooner. This week has been crazy. The idea of working from there was soon scrapped due to my disabled aunt (who has Usher’s Syndrome) needing to speak to me – which involved her having my face in front of hers, at all times.
My grandmother, more like the mother figure, has been the one, who when my father, sister and family disowned me, always maintained her beliefs of “doing what makes you happy” and “accepting me as I am”, irrespective.
And today, after days of being in and out of consciousness, told me “I happy you are here”.
All the while I am there, I have to be strong for my mother, who has been taking care of her mother as she lives with them. My role? Feed them, grocery shop, and listen. Thankfully I have my own place to retreat to since my aunt from London and other aunt (and grandmother) stays with my mom. A haven is needed when one needs to be strong.
My grandmother is 86 years old. Next month is her birthday. Will she make it, I doubt it. All I know is that this sudden realisation that everyone dies makes me question the “important” things in life. Have you called your mom/dad lately? I haven’t spoken to mine in a decade. His choice. But my mom and gran are still around and although we never had a close relationship before, me being here this week has brought me closer to them. I cannot bear the bad news on the way but I know that my gran and I are tight.
Love you Ma Brenda. You will always be my hero. Be strong.