My gratitude list as at 14 February 2012:

• Kevin’s amazing and open heart
• Our trip to Seattle and seeing the Space Needle
• Out trip to Snowbird, Utah
• Ski lessons
• Experience of learning something new

• Kevin making time to buy a Valentines Day card for me, through his crazy work week
  • Having a Valentine :)
• Progress made at work, change management
• Great co-workers
• Great friends
• Learning new things
• Experiencing American  culture
• Being inspired in both business and personal
• Skiing making me fitter
• My mom
• My kitties
• My dog

Okay, so everyone warned me about muscle fatigue but I beg to differ that one, as a first timer can train for this. Day one and two was okay – but day three, my muscles are fatigued to such a degree that they would no longer listen to me at one point.

PANIC! FEAR! SHOCK!

Who knew it would be this way. First time skiing is hard. Using incorrect muscles make me work so much harder, leading to more panic. Thank goodness my better half was there to motivate me into getting back on that horse, or in my case, up the hill.

After much self-pep-talk and egging myself to harden the F**K up, I decided to get out there again. This may be the hardest new thing I’ve had to learn. My head says one thing and my legs another.

Lessons learnt:

• expect to fail a few times when trying something new
• get up and try until it starts feeling natural
• practice
• conquer the fear and once I do, it becomes easier
• respect the mountain and those who are its caretaker

Now ….. the most wonderful thing about these lessons, apart from learning something new is that all of the above can be linked to business and ones career.

You heard me.

Read the lessons above and apply to business and career. Scary isn’t it. Scary to think that when it comes to learning something new, we don’t see the business similarities.

I have a new found respect for skiers and snowboarders. I have a new respect for the mountain, which although majestic and magnificent, can also lead to ones demise if not careful. And ironically, the same can be said about the ocean, which is something I both love and respect.

So day three of skiing was not the best, the day could have ended very differently if I had given up, sending the entire holiday into chaos. Thankfully I didn’t let my fear stand in the way, well actually I did, for about 30 mins, then decided to screw it and try again.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Everyday gets better in-spite of the falls, so far, I’ve fallen many times but have not been injured. I can get up and try again and hey, if it counts for anything, my dismount off the baby-ski-lift is one of the few things I can do. Chickadee run, tomorrow, you are mine!

About Jet Lag

It’s really horrible, I feel confused, exhausted and most of all, slightly ill. It takes a few days to get into things. Add to this going into the mountains, high altitude means after 5 minutes I am out of breath as if I’ve just completed an extreme cardio session.

Frustrating. Yes.

But.

Seattle was great.

Tall buildings and most importantly, the Space Needle. One of my favorite iconic symbols. A site of many Dark Angel visits, and most importantly, an architectural masterpiece.  I only spent two days there. Arrived on Thursday afternoon and departed on Saturday morning, but managed to see some cool sites.

1. Space Needle
2. First Starbucks – ever
3. Pike Market
4. Downtown Waterfront

Photos to follow, but so far so good.

New goal – speak in terms of weeks the way “parent’s-to-be” do.

Why?

It seems to make the accomplishments of each week seem more significant as well as keep track of time rather efficiently.

Week 1 was predominantly filled with planning of projects for work as well as self.

Week 2 delved into more detail in preparation for week 3.

• Cinema date with bestie, watching Puss in Boots
• Dinner at Life, yummy
• Dinner at pub with partner and some QT
• No of gym visits = one [not my finest, I confess]
• Partner’s family over for Friday night dinner
  • Nightmare day, Friday 13th

Week 3 sees many people returning from holidays, school terms have resumed and life as we know it, resuming with full effect.

Big items tasks for the week?

• Work – meetings, workshops and more meetings.
• Self
  • aim to complete “Vision Frame” for bedside table
  • exercise at least 5 times in any format
  • do something FUN
• Family
  • Call my mom

52 weeks will be over in a flash and I aim to make the most of 2012.

I feel THIS is my year, the year I make my goals a reality. Currently reading “Dream it. List it. Do it”, an awesome way to get an idea on what your goals should be. Mine is to spend more “me” time. What are yours? Visit http://www.43things.com and see for yourself.

Self

• More me time
• Read more
• Vision board

Family

• Call mom more

Career

• Add new skills
• Promotion
• Work smarter not harder

Health

• Exercise 3-5 times per week
• Do more creative exercises (journal, blog, vision board, gym)
• Drink more water (3-5 glasses more per day)

Soul

• Journal to seek my true self
• What does my heart want?
• How can I make a difference in my world and in the world around me?
• Know what feeds and fuels me…

It all began last week on the 26th November 2011. We spent a wonderful day of Thanksgiving with family and friends, but earlier that day arrived home to no water.

We could not understand why this was the case. Now until it’s happened to you, the impact of going without is tantamount.

• Cleaning yourself
• Washing dishes
• Doing laundry
• Using the loo
• Washing your hands after
  • the dog has licked them
  • you’ve been to the loo
• Cooking
• Ironing
• Vaccuuming
• Drinking water (us and animals)
• the list continues …

The biggest lesson learned this week is “assumption is the mother of all fuckups”. We assumed that because there was a Department of Water (JHB) tape around the neigbours water meter that we had to resolve the problem through them.

• Two phone calls daily
• Same story:
  • we have escalated the problem
  • the problem has highest priority
  • the technicians are on the way
  • the issue will be resolved today

A colleague recommended I call a pumber and Friday, after 7 days of no water, showing between friend house, gym and using the pool, the he solved our problem.

Thank goodness. I was about to crack. When all of the above cannot be done, I started obsessing about water which led me to sympathise with kids who have no food at school. How can one think about anything else when the fundamentals of life are challenged?

1. Food
2. Water
3. Shelter
4. Security

I sympathise with orphans and children who attend schools who are starving through the day. The 7 days have taught me to be patient, think out of the box, and think about those who permanently have lack.

Great lessons making the festive season a lot more giving. Think about it and hope it never happens to you.

H20 is life.

Water is life.

Water makes you clean.

Cleanliness leads to …….. getting some action. The past 7 days, sigh, no one was getting any anywhere.

My grandmother died at 11am on 14 October 2011. I was in the air, flight delayed and had not made it in time to see her before she died, but at least I saw her the week before. My mom is the strongest woman I know. She has kept it together for the family, even though my grandmother lived with her most of the time.

I don’t do funerals. I may have attended three in my life. One, my better half’s grandmother, my ex-business-partner’s mom and now my grandmother. I was enmeshed in this funeral. Supporting the sisters, drafting the funeral program, speaking at the funeral and being a pall bearer.

The past two weeks have been draining to say the least. One of the closest of my family members died, travelling between Cape Town and Johannesburg and being a strong, supportive one for the aunts and mom as their mom dies. Heartbreaking.

Death is a selfish act.

When someone dies, I am always thinking about my closest family (mom) and my passing.

Selfish is the act of death, always.

So I bought flowers, food, travelled up and down, did whatever the aunts and mom needed and all I can say is that the sadness of losing a loved on is ……. devastating.

Seeing the dead body, and then the open casket, is jarring. Everyday I feel a little less sad, but the sadness is there. I cannot fathom the day my mom goes and this is the thought that jars me the most. But one thing is certain, life is short and we have to make the most of it while we can. My grandmother was a positive, always encouraging, smiling soul. I will always remember her, especially in the light that I am taking her name. I am now Shana Kay Bailey, a little closer to forming the identity I was unsure of.

It all started when I checked Facebook and saw this message “Miss you too beautiful one :) u ok? Just heard the news,really sorry :( xx”

I immediately called my mom, who then gave the news of my grandmother being ill, organ failure and the like (details are too graphic, I can’t share just yet).

The love of my life Kevin, bought (as a birthday gift), tickets to Coldplay in Cape Town and I had planned on going on Wednesday 5 October – red eye flight, but due to the latest news, started contemplating changing my flight. My mom, who would never admit to wanting me there earlier, initially said – see you Wednesday, but thankfully I called her again and she actually asked me to come. My mom never does that.

So there I was, spending 30 mins on the line changing my flight, booking new accommodation and a car to get there sooner. This week has been crazy. The idea of working from there was soon scrapped due to my disabled aunt (who has Usher’s Syndrome) needing to speak to me – which involved her having my face in front of hers, at all times.

My grandmother, more like the mother figure, has been the one, who when my father, sister and family disowned me, always maintained her beliefs of “doing what makes you happy” and “accepting me as I am”, irrespective.

And today, after days of being in and out of consciousness, told me “I happy you are here”.

Heartbreaking.

All the while I am there, I have to be strong for my mother, who has been taking care of her mother as she lives with them. My role? Feed them, grocery shop, and listen. Thankfully I have my own place to retreat to since my aunt from London and other aunt (and grandmother) stays with my mom. A haven is needed when one needs to be strong.

My grandmother is 86 years old. Next month is her birthday. Will she make it, I doubt it. All I know is that this sudden realisation that everyone dies makes me question the “important” things in life. Have you called your mom/dad lately? I haven’t spoken to mine in a decade. His choice. But my mom and gran are still around and although we never had a close relationship before, me being here this week has brought me closer to them. I cannot bear the bad news on the way but I know that my gran and I are tight.

Love you Ma Brenda. You will always be my hero. Be strong.

I woke up this morning to work on a personal project, help a friend plan a book launch in October. Doing this kind of thing, is “kind-of” what I do.

Where the mixed feelings come in to play, was when my “lunch date”, took me to watch the movie “Crazy stupid Love”. All I can say, without knowing why, is that the movie left me feeling … a touch of sadness.

Even though I can honestly say that there were times I laughed out really loud, the movie has a tinge of sadness to it. How can a movie leave one feeling happy and sad simultaneously, I am not sure, but this one has.

My official rating for this movie?

1. Story line: 8/10
2. Comedy: 7/10
3. Drama: 7/10

Overall movie rating: 7/10

All things considered, this is a movie I would consider buying and watching again.